70 x 7
CLEVER AND FUN MY SON THE ONE
BLAMELESS AND TRUE ARE YOU THE TWO
SIMPLE AND FREE ARE WE THE THREE
LONGING FOR MORE ADORE THE FOUR
FEELING ALIVE ARRIVE THE FIVE
JOINING THE MIX BETWIXT THE SIX
MAKING ELEVEN BUT ONE MAKES SEVEN
BLAMELESS AND WILD THATS YOU MY CHILD
BLAMELESS AND TRUE ARE YOU THE TWO
SIMPLE AND FREE ARE WE THE THREE
LONGING FOR MORE ADORE THE FOUR
FEELING ALIVE ARRIVE THE FIVE
JOINING THE MIX BETWIXT THE SIX
MAKING ELEVEN BUT ONE MAKES SEVEN
BLAMELESS AND WILD THATS YOU MY CHILD
posted by Fateduel at 23:05
6 Comments:
as I have said before, brilliant.
However, the punctuated version is more explative.
true, but I didn't want to make that version the only version.
I'll put up the punctuated here then:
Clever and fun, my son: the one,
blameless and true. Are you, the two,
simple and free? Are we? The three,
longing for more, adore the four.
Feeling alive, arrive the five,
joining the mix betwixt the six
making eleven but one makes seven,
blameless and wild: that's you my child.
thank you.
It's amazing how much of a difference punctuation makes. I'm not saying one version is better than the other, just that the intonation and even the meaning (somewhat) are changed.
I'll concur to that. It does, if nothing else, at least express more of the intent of the author.
But let's not get too trapped in the intentional fallacy - shall we?
the eleven-seven one confuses me somewhat.
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